In the world of the alt community there are many kinks and as I mentioned before, it is sometimes better to have someone to share your kink with, the Dom/sub relationship is one of the strongest I know, with a solid foundation of trust and something built to last the weathers of time.
Be you Dom, sub or Switch unless you have trust with you partner you have nothing, it is something that is earned and not just simply given. Also it can be something broken never to be returned, there has to be that mutual understanding from both sides of what is too far, be it something that a sub can’t take or what a Dom won’t do.
Being a switch I understand both sides of the coin and I personally believe that to be better at being a Dom/sub you need to know what it feels like, learning from doing rather than just diving in, it is not sink or swim, starting off at the shallow end is very important.
My first Dom knew this very well, being that I was a young woman wide eyed at the world and eager to learn he had a lot to teach me. I had been interested in him for a long time, he was smart and well-presented but still with that air of roughness that just reeks of danger and excitement. The first time he took me back to his place we shared a few drinks before he took me to his room. Upon seeing the bed with its midnight black satin sheets perfectly smoothed out and chains on each corner of the bed I knew he had planned every aspect of the night out, I felt a little bit of fear build inside of me as a hand slipped around my neck pulling my head to one side and teeth found my soft skin, I was shaking as his other hand moved to my thighs and disappeared up my skirt where playful fingers danced over my lace underwear, even thinking back over this brings around warm feeling, if I was to close my eyes I swear I would be able to relive the moment perfectly.
As I started to breath faster and quiver expectantly my mind still questioned what was going to happen, he spun me around to face him grabbing my firmly by the neck a spark of fear and excitement rushed through me as he pulled me close and firmly kissed me. I suddenly found my self been thrown on to the bed, I sat up and looked at my first Dom as he grabbed my leg and pulled me towards him, his hand hungrily groped at my body as he pulled my clothes off, taking no care as my lace underwear ripped from me, grabbing my leg again he pulled me once more, next I felt the cold steel of the heavy duty chains wrapping around my ankle, followed by the ominous click of the pad lock, I watched him as he continued this with my other leg and then my hands.
I was laid there exposed and completely at his mercy, the cold in the air had caused my skin to rise with Goosebumps or maybe that was from the tension. He looked over as he stripped his clothing and he already stood hard, I felt a knot in my tummy and warmth between my legs, he reached in to the draw beside the bed and pulled out an egg shaped toy and some tape. I listened to the buzz as I closed my eyes and he placed it on my clit, the tape placed there to ensure security, I bit my lips as the fear melted and only excitement remained. He began raking his nails across my skin and I shivered and gasped. His almost bottomless brown eyes looked in to mine before he reached back in to the draw, this time he pulled out a blind fold and a set of headphones, before I knew it I could not see and had heavy rock music blasting in my ears, I could not see him or hear him, for a while all I could feel was the softness of the sheets, the coldness of the chains and the buzzing of the toy still between my legs.
Next came short nipping of the skin in random places, my heart raced as I could not see where he was, the slight build of fear returned, I felt myself cry out in a mix of shock and pleasure as he pinched a nipple, from there his hand slipped to my neck and he gripped tightly and I felt his breath on my neck , as I felt a rumble through his chest I knew he was growling, his hand squeezed my neck as his teeth bit in to my skin and he moved himself between my legs to claim his prize.
I would never have allowed him to do any of this unless he had my trust, he opened my eyes to a lot of things but I was still had on blinkers to the rest of the world. Time is the most powerful thing in the world, it heals all and teaches all and in the end destroys all. Whilst you have time use it to grow, use it to teach and use it for happiness.