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Confessions of a goth girl 4: the pain within

  • Betrayal nothing feels worse, it is like the world you know shatters around out, like a tsunami of pain that shocks and washes over you, you are caught in its turbulent current and dragged along unable to control where you land or if you simply drown.

     

    After my last blog I got a huge response from people and one woman reached out, she too was stuck in the same cycle of loving someone, being completely devoted to them and not having those feelings returned fully.

     

    We spoke about how each of us felt, about how much we were devoted to our other, I felt empathy for this woman as she knew my pain just as much as I knew her's.

     

    What happened next neither of us could have known, like a cruel twist of fate or an atomic bomb in the mind everything what shattered and everything seemed so much clearer.

     

    It is the same guy, Mr 7 and my friend’s guy are one in the same.

     

    The pain welled up as did my tears, I felt sick to my very core and still do. I wasted no time on texting Mr 7 to ask him for an explanation, not only had he been messing with this poor woman’s emotions, heart and head but mine too.

     

    "I just try to make people happy but only end up hurting them" was his reply in a nut shell.

     

    I want to scream I want to shout and I want to lash out, but right now all I can seem to do is curl up and cry. 

     

    Worst thing is I still love him but as I said in my last blog there has to be trust, I do feel that this has gone.

     


Comments

22 comments
  • Mutex
    Mutex We're all here for you. Nothing I hate more than seeing guys treat women badly or mess them around.
    February 17, 2012
  • Omicron
    Omicron What gets me, is that this guy doesn;t sound like he's 'Poly', most people who are truly in a Poly lifestyle have the decency to talk through relationships with their partners. This guys just sounds like so kind of university aged player.
    February 17, 2012 - 2 like this
  • gothinisity
    gothinisity This is the conclusion I have come to as well. It may hurt like hell to walk away but it must be done. I do hope I have the strength to stay away this time. He may of hurt me so bad but also he made me happy. Maybe I am just conditioned but it's time to b...  more
    February 17, 2012 - 2 like this
  • Zen
    Zen You come across on here as someone who has reserves of strength when you need it.. I'm sure you can stay away, you've accepted he's not good for you, and you are not happy with the situation. That was the hardest part in my opinion :) .. and when you feel...  more
    February 17, 2012 - 2 like this